Ghost King: It's not an update

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It's not an update

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Once upon a time, in a magical far-off land, there was an enchanted kingdom where everything was made of sugary sweets and other things that were good to eat. It was ruled by a kindly old man named King Candy von Schweetz. King Candy loved racing, so each day, he hosted races for the entire kingdom. There were fourteen special children who competed in these races, and King Candy loved each and every one of them. He loved all children. That was why the king was sad that he didn't have a child of his own.

One day, King Candy was walking through his kingdom when he heard someone calling for help. It was a sugar-sparkle fairy, who had become caught in a sugarplum tree! He was curious, because he had never seen a fairy before. He freed her from the branches.

"Thank you very much, Great King," said the fairy. "To repay you for saving my life, I will grant you one wish."

King Candy knew exactly what to ask for. "I wish for a child of my very own!" he said.

The fairy waved her wand, and in a puff of sparkles, a little girl appeared. Her name was Princess Vanellope von Schweetz, and she was the sweetest child in all of the kingdom of Sugar Rush. King Candy adored his new daughter, and he often called her his sugarplum, in honor of the tree that had given her to –

"Oh, come on! No fair!"

"Ha ha, see you at the finish line, Molly!"

"You are such a cheater, Hunter! I hate you!"

Mr. Litwak sighed and lowered the Sugar Rush promotional booklet that had come in the mail that morning. He had a small collection of similar documents, which gave general information and recounted entertaining little stories about various games in the arcade, oftentimes things that weren't even present in the games themselves. If nothing else, it gave him something to read on slow weekdays like today. He adjusted his trusty old glasses and glanced down at his watch; it was nearly closing time. All he had to do now was wait for Molly and Hunter to finish their rather heated game of Sugar Rush and then lock up for the night.

"Settle down over there, kids," he called halfheartedly, already aware that it wouldn't do much good.

Molly, a young blonde girl with pinked-rimmed glasses, and her older brother Hunter, who always wore the same battered hi-tops and cargo pants, were two of the most frequent visitors to the arcade. Mr. Litwak found it amusing to watch their interactions as they battled Cy-Bugs, hopped aboard jet skis, and finally finished up at the saccharine go-kart game that had been noticeably more popular for a while now. Molly was no slouch at gaming, especially for someone her age, but her brother certainly put up a fight when they competed against each other. Sugar Rush just so happened to be his specialty.

Mr. Litwak wandered over just in time to see Hunter pump a fist into the air triumphantly. On the console screen, his avatar – Turbo, the bonus character that had been unlocked a few months back and was on the roster nearly every day now – crossed the finish line and launched into his victory animations. The little white racer grinned broadly, his dull yellow teeth flashing, and flicked both thumbs into the air. "Turbo-Tastic!" he declared.

Molly was playing as Vanellope, who finished in second and offered a little smile and wave to the virtual crowd. "Not too bad! We'll get 'em next time!"

"Hunter cheated," complained Molly, scooting around in the console's plastic seat to face Mr. Litwak.

"I did not," her brother contradicted. "I just know how to use the teleportation ability better than you!"

"All right, you two, it's not a big deal," Mr. Litwak urged them, shaking his head at the silliness of their conflict. He was well aware that both the Vanellope and Turbo avatars had a short-term teleportation ability, and that it often resulted in players accusing one another of cheating. Come to think of it, he'd always sort of wondered why Turbo had that power when it had certainly never been a part of the original Turbo Time game...

"How's the game working, by the way?" he remarked. "It's not giving you any trouble, is it?"

Hunter shook his head. "No, it's fine. What, did you update it recently or something?"

"Just installed a little software patch this morning, and I know that sometimes the machines act up for a couple days after that," replied Mr. Litwak. "Glad to hear that there's no trouble. All right, kids, looks like it's about closing time for me, so I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to get up now."

The two siblings gathered up their remaining quarters and headed out, still bantering amiably, and waved at Mr. Litwak as the door banged shut behind them. Mr. Litwak was striding through that same door not three minutes later, sparing a last glance at Vanellope and Turbo smiling on the Sugar Rush "Game Over" screens, and made sure to fasten the locks behind him.

As soon as the coast was clear, the avatar dancing through the DDR demo ignored the arrows still scrolling across the screen and cupped her hands around her mouth. "Arcade's closed, everyone!" she called.

And from every cabinet and console, muffled grumbles or sighs of relief drifted up from the speakers as the characters concluded another day of work.

"Wellll, Vanny," drawled Turbo, eyelids lowering smugly as he glanced at the little girl opposite him, "I think that last race puts me ahead for the day, don't you?"

"Oh, shut up!" she protested. "It was eleven to ten, big deal! And I know for a fact that number four had never played our game before."

"Mhm. That's what they all say."

"You ain't that good, Pajama Boy. I'm gonna whip cream that ego of yours as soon as we start up the Random Roster Race."

"Ooh, I'm so scared'a the pretty pink pony princess!"

"That's president to you!"

"Well, I'm gonna – "

"Kids," barked Sergeant Tamora Jean Calhoun, glaring at the duo from her position in Hero's Duty. "Don't make me come over there!"

Turbo spread his pale hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. We're done," he submitted. Vanellope giggled and poked her tongue out at him.

Then, in almost perfect unison, the two racers pivoted on their heels and hopped out of sight, deserting the Sugar Rush screens. Their 'shifts' were over, after all. The arcade was closed...time to wipe the slate clean and run the daily qualifying race, set everything up for tomorrow, and then relax and enjoy their few hours off.

…

Vanellope von Schweetz, the nine-year-old princess-turned-president and official leader of Sugar Rush, sauntered onto the track of the Royal Raceway with an entourage of eight other racers grouped around her – the nine of them had taken top placing in yesterday's Random Roster Race, and thus had been enabled as playable characters for the day. The group currently included such faces as Taffyta Muttonfudge, Crumbelina di Carmello, Torvald Batterbutter, and of course Turbo, who flopped down in a rough approximation of a circle not far from the starting line. There was always a thirty-minute break between the arcade closing and the start of the after-hours races, and they always used the time to rest, chitchat, and exchange snacks gathered from various areas around the game.

"Anybody want some fancy chocolate?" offered Adorabeezle Winterpop, producing a fistful of milky brown squares from her coat pocket. Candy never melted in Adorabeezle's grasp; it was as if she had been programmed with built-in refrigeration. "It's the really good stuff!"

"I'll take some, Beezle," said Taffyta. Her eyes widened as she nibbled daintily on the chocolate. "Mmm, this is really good!"

Vanellope shrugged and accepted a piece, hastily followed by Turbo, who sat cross-legged and tense beside her. Even a few months after being assimilated into the game, Turbo still wasn't exactly a social butterfly, due to both limited programming and lack of experience. His code made him accustomed to being the center of attention in large crowds, but regular interaction required a lot of effort for him even just to build up a facade of normality. Honestly, she was sort of in the same boat. Her designers had intended her to be the sweetest little girl in the entire kingdom, but fifteen years of isolation and bullying had altered that permanently...

But that was all over now, she reminded herself. She had Ralph, and Felix, and Sergeant Calhoun, and Turbo...and she was proud of Turbo for finally beginning to peek out of his reclusive shell and socialize. He could almost be called friends with some of the other characters, like Adorabeezle and Rancis and the palette-swaps (Vanellope had learned the hard way how much they hated the term "recolors"). And at least the racers were treating Vanellope less like "we must stay on the president's good side or else she'll execute us" and more like an equal. All in all, she was impressively surprised with how well everything had worked out in the end.

"Hey, Turbo," she commented, munching her chocolate. "Got a question for ya. Do you know what a software patch is?"

Turbo licked his lips absently. "A what?"

"A software patch. You know, Mr. Litwak was talking about it to those last couple kids – "

"Yeah, I heard him, glitter-graphics. I was there, remember?" He snapped off a fragment of candy in his mouth cautiously. He never liked to reveal any more of his teeth than was necessary, possibly because of the creepy, unnaturally huge and toothy yellow grin that he'd been created with. "But I don't know what he meant by that."

Taffyta emitted a contemptuous snort. "You've never even heard of a software patch? Talk about behind the times."

Vanellope groaned inwardly as she watched Turbo's expression flatten into a steady glare. Just because he was forming bonds in his new home game didn't mean that he got along with everyone, after all...she supposed that it was a given, considering his history, but that didn't make his little rivalry with Taffyta any less obnoxious.

"Gee, sugar brat," retorted Turbo evenly. "I guess I should know what it is, since I've been here for such a long time. But I don't. It's almost like I can't remember the past thirty years of my life or something – oh, wait." His mouth pulled downwards sharply into a scowl.

"Just because you can't remember any of that stuff doesn't mean that it didn't happen!" Taffyta pointed out with a sneer.

"You guys," Vanellope interrupted. "Quit being butts." Through some incredibly strange turn of events, she considered both Taffyta and Turbo to be two of her best friends. She just wished that they'd at least put up a pretense of civility and not go at each other all the time. Adjusting the licorice twist that secured her candy-spattered ponytail, she cleared her throat and turned to Taffyta hopefully. "So, you know what a software patch is?"

"Er, no," the strawberry girl admitted, an uncomfortable flush rising in her cheeks. "I've just heard of them is all. Mr. Litwak talks about installing them every so often..."

"Oh, so you're real helpful, Miss Know-It-All. I see," snapped Turbo. Red static spluttered in angry patches across his white form. Even after all these months of using his glitch to his advantage while racing, he still had a very difficult time trying to clamp down on his damaged code while his emotions were riding high.

Taffyta's petite nostrils flared. "At least I know more than you do, you creepy little sicko!"

"Sugar brat!"

"Glitch!"

"Crumb-snatcher!"

"Ghost boy!"

Turbo's lemon-colored eyes narrowed, and his muscles tensed, as if he were preparing to lunge forward. Just in time, Vanellope looped an arm around his neck to hold him back if need be. "You guys," she complained again.

Fortunately, Felix, Calhoun, and Ralph – the trio ubiquitously referred to by the Sugar Rush racers, and especially Vanellope and Turbo, as the grown-ups – chose that time to arrive at the raceway en masse. Calhoun and Felix, who must have just arrived from Hero's Duty, were stepping off of Calhoun's cruiser and offering short waves of greeting to Ralph. Vanellope grinned and scampered up to them eagerly, paying no attention to Turbo's frustrated mutters behind her as he hauled himself to his feet and brushed cocoa dust from the knees of his jumpsuit.

"Heya, Stinkbrain!" she chirped as she flounced up to Ralph. The wrecker was more than a little intimidating to look at, what with his massive destructive hands, colossal size, and seemingly permanent glower, but his face pulled into a warm smile when he saw her coming. He lifted a blocky fist in a gesture of offering, and she hopped up to tap her knuckles against his. "What's shakin'?"

"Not much." His eyes drifted over to the group of her now slightly nervous friends, and to the clearly unhappy Turbo now striding towards the adults. "Did something happen, or...?"

"Turbo and Taffyta were just being butts to each other again," replied Vanellope dismisively. "Anyway, I got a question for ya. Do you know what a software patch is?"

Ralph's brow furrowed, but as he seemingly prepared to answer that he wasn't sure, Sergeant Calhoun perked up and swiftly inserted herself into the conversation. "A software patch? It's a kind of very minor update that modern arcade games get every so often. My game's gotten a few already."

Vanellope blinked. "An update? What does it do?"

"Not much, really. Mostly it just smooths out bumps in the programming, clears out mistakes, gets rid of glitches...that sort of thing. Sometimes they'll add in one or two new features, but that's about it."

"Oh." The tiny president tilted her head, feeling reassured that this unknown alteration to the game wouldn't have too much of an impact. "So, it's nothing to worry about, then?"

"Of course not, kiddo," confirmed Calhoun, giving Vanellope a brisk pat on top of the head. An affectionate gesture, coming from the sarge.

"Jiminy jaminy," contributed Felix, shuffling up to stand beside his wife. "Games are so complicated nowadays. Back in my day, the developers just made the game and then put it out into the world! You couldn't make any changes or update it after it was finished..."

Vanellope spotted a pale shape approaching from the edge of per peripheral vision, and she didn't need to turn around to know that Turbo had overheard the discussion. "Huh? Update?" he repeated. "Is that what this software patch is? We're getting updated?" Anxiety was seeping into his voice at the very concept. Turbo was definitely the sort of person who didn't take well to change...at all.

"No, Pajama Boy, we're not," she told him dismissively. "It's no big deal, don't sweat it. Now come on, it's almost time for the race! I gotta get things started!" She bounced on her feet, making a break to speed-glitch for the popcorn box towering above the raceway, but Ralph's hand dropped down in front of her to block her passage.

"Sorry, kid, one last thing," he said. "Felix and the sarge have decided that they want some alone time tonight..." He cleared his throat meaningfully, and Turbo giggled for some reason that she couldn't comprehend. "...so I'm gonna be taking you and Turbo out to Tapper's for a little while after dinner. You guys can grab some root beer floats or shakes or whatever you want. Sound good?"

"Yeah!" cheered Vanellope, pumping her chubby little fist into the air.

Turbo scrunched up his face disdainfully.

"Oh, don't look like that, Bo," she groaned. "So you have to shock yourself a little to get past the barrier, big deal! It's better than not being able to leave at all!"

"It's not that." He scuffed the heel of his sneaker in the sugary dirt. "Every time I go to Tapper's, everybody's either staring at me or glaring at me. When I'm there it's like nothing's changed at all in the past thirty years, in a bad way. I'm always getting called a dumb kid or..." His eyes cooled slightly. "A ghost boy."

Vanellope heaved a sigh, but now her annoyance was tinged with sympathy. She was all too familiar with being constantly bullied, slapped with a label until you couldn't stand it, wondering if it would be better for everyone if you just hid yourself in some dark hole and never came out again... "You know you're better than that. Come on. It won't be that bad, and besides, Ralph'll pound anyone who tries to push your buttons!"

"And you've hardly left the game half a dozen times since your reset," Ralph added. "Maybe if you went out a little more frequently, the novelty would wear off..."

Turbo's shoulders dropped. "Okay, fine, I'll go," he submitted. "But I won't like it!"

"No one's asking you to like it. Quit moping around." A mischievous gleam ignited in her eyes. "Or else I'm gonna rip that helmet off of ya and use it as a soccer ball."

He stiffened, and his hands automatically lifted to clamp down on the sides of his head protectively. "You wouldn't dare..."

The two of them had returned to roughhousing within moments, scampering back towards the other Sugar Rush racers and leaving the adults to take their seats in the Assorted Fans section. Felix chuckled. "Oh, those kids."

"Sometimes I still find it hard to believe that the two of them get along so well," Ralph commented.

Felix glanced at his "brother" sidelong. "You're not saying it's a problem, are you?"

"No, I actually think it's great. Vanellope gets a playmate who it's not so dangerous to wrestle with, and Turbo isn't a bad kid at all." Ralph chuckled lightly. "I'm still trying to get used to that."

"Me, too," agreed Felix, pursing his lips thoughtfully. "What do you both suppose that this software patch is going to bring to Sugar Rush? Maybe it comes with some new courses, or even new characters..."

"I'm sure that it's going to change nothing," stated Calhoun decisively. "Nothing at all."